Heart Healing

At a Center Lake Bible Camp staff reunion we were recently asked this question: how did Jesus do His ministry.  How did Jesus do His ministry?  One of the things the Lord has revealed to me about ministry through my time at camp is this: you have a choice of where you’re going to fix your focus.  Time and time again I see kids come to camp with behavior “problems”.  It may come in the form of running away, defiance, fighting, or even the refusal to eat.  I think we can all agree that these expressions are frustrating.  This is where the choice comes in.  We can spend the precious week we have with these aching kiddos by cracking down on the behavior and trying to force change or we can look at the heart issue.  We can pray and invite Jesus to heal the much deeper problem at hand.  Because that’s just it, Jesus was/is always focused on the heart, and when healing takes place at the root problem you see the real transformation of the outward expressions or behavioral “problems”.  

I think one of the greatest pictures of this is found in Luke 5:

“17 On one of those days, as he was teaching, Pharisees and teachers of the law were sitting there, who had come from every village of Galilee and Judea and from Jerusalem. And the power of the Lord was with him to heal.  18 And behold, some men were bringing on a bed a man who was paralyzed, and they were seeking to bring him in and lay him before Jesus, 19 but finding no way to bring him in, because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and let him down with his bed through the tiles into the midst before Jesus.  20 And when he saw their faith, he said, ‘Man, your sins are forgiven you.’  21 And the scribes and the Pharisees began to question, saying, ‘Who is this who speaks blasphemies? Who can forgive sins but God alone?’  22 When Jesus perceived their thoughts, he answered them, ‘Why do you question in your hearts?  23 Which is easier, to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven you,’ or to say, ‘Rise and walk’?  24 But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins’—he said to the man who was paralyzed—‘I say to you, rise, pick up your bed and go home.’  25 And immediately he rose up before them and picked up what he had been lying on and went home, glorifying God.  26 And amazement seized them all, and they glorified God and were filled with awe, saying, ‘We have seen extraordinary things today.’”

I think we tend to put an emphasis on the physical healing of outward expressions, but Jesus came to heal the heart.  He came to wage war on sin and He won.  This passage doesn’t put a lot of focus on the paralytic’s response to Jesus healing him—but I have to believe that the real freedom came not when he got up to walk, but when the weight of every evil word, thought, and deed was taken from him.  That’s freedom.  That’s weightlessness.  That’s true mobility.  The power and freedom that can only come from being washed clean—given new and everlasting life.  An eternity of moving and dancing and praising the King of kings and Lord of lords.  Clearly Jesus is faithful to heal physical ailments and outward expressions of inward brokenness—but I’ve just been challenged to ask myself where are you fixing your focus?  

Here’s the real kicker.  I think it becomes easy to see when we are focusing on someone else’s outward expressions instead of asking Jesus to come and heal their inward brokenness—which is always the root problem.  But, what about our own?  What about all the times we get so frustrated that our mind still goes back to that place?  Or we are still fighting that addiction, that bitterness, that jealousy?  This morning I was asking God to search my heart and lead me to repentance and He was faithful to do that.  Lately, I have been fighting against distractedness and longing for change.  My game plan was to focus on scripture memorization when my mind started to wander that direction—which sounded like a pretty good plan to me—until I asked God more about it.  He met me in that moment and this is what came flowing out of my pen and onto my journal:

“Lord I pray that you would search my heart and reveal to me if there be any grievous way in me.  Lead me to complete repentance and draw me closer to you. 

Lord, I confess to you that I have been living in dreamland and as a result have been living in jealousy.  But just like a child at camp when we become so focused on fixing the behavior ‘problem’ we forget to look at the roots.  Why are they acting this way?  What is the cause?  Jesus always looked at the heart.  You always saw a behavior problem for what is was—a deeper heart issue—and that’s what you wanted to heal.  That’s the bondage you want to free us from.  I confess to you that I have fallen into a trap of trying to ‘fix’ the outward expression of an inward sin issue.  Lord, I think my real confession needs to be that I haven’t been giving myself over to your sovereignty and trusting in your providence.  I’ve been worried that my future is not going to look exactly how I want it to and instead of bringing my heart/sin issue of lacking to trust your goodness and your plan I’ve been giving myself whiplash—every time my mind goes to picturing the perfect future I try to crank my focus the other direction.  I try to stop the trail of thoughts dead in their tracks and the worst part is I try to do it in my own strength.  I have been denying you a heart open to you healing the root problem—just like all those times at camp when we try to bandage the superficial wound instead of laying the deep heart wound at your feet.”

God wants to heal completely, not bandage for now.  I think we can be so hard on ourselves for continually going back to a mindset, to an idol, to an addiction—but what would happen if instead of focusing on all the changes that need to be made we asked for healing from The One who can change all things.  The One who came to heal and did.  The only One who has the power to rewrite, restore, and redeem.  I have been challenged to stop trying to change behavior and instead to lay the problem at Jesus’ feet, humbly asking to be healed.  God is speaking to me and my prayer is that He would be speaking to you too.  What is the deep heart issue you are longing to be freed from?  Jesus is faithful to heal.  

A Shepherd Worth Following

If we're all being honest we are rebels at heart.  Even the people who seemingly have their lives "together" or tend to be non-confrontational.  There is something in us that wants to do everything our own way, to get whatever we want, and in our own timing.  The Lord has been working and speaking in my life of what it is to be obedient, and what the result of our actions are through obedience or disobedience.

But first things first—why should we be obedient?  Who is deserving of our obedience?  I love this image of the greatness and the glory of the Lord found in Isaiah 6:

"1 In the year that King Uzziah died I saw the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up; and the train of his robe filled the temple.  2 Above him stood the seraphim. Each had six wings: with two he covered his face, and with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew.  3 And one called to another and said:

'Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts;

the whole earth is full of his glory!'

4 And the foundations of the thresholds shook at the voice of him who called, and the house was filled with smoke.  5 And I said: 'Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts!'

6 Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a burning coal that he had taken with tongs from the altar.  7 And he touched my mouth and said: 'Behold, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away, and your sin atoned for.'"

The Lord is worthy to be followed and praised!  His glory fills the earth.  The foundations of thresholds shake at His voice.  He takes away our guilt—atones for our sins.  He is worthy!  He is worthy of all of our obedience.

It goes on to show the call of Isaiah into a life of obedience to the King of kings and Lord of lords:

"8 And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?'  Then I said, 'Here I am! Send me.'"

In all honesty it's pretty easy to say "Here I am Lord!  Use me.  Send me!" when you are before the thrown of the Lord as His voice is shaking the thresholds, and He has atoned for your sin.  I mean, duh.  Yeah, Lord, I'll follow you!   I'm here and you seem pretty powerful—sounds great.  Let's do it.  And then it gets interesting when the Lord tells Isaiah what this call he just volunteered for was:

"9 And he said, 'Go, and say to this people:

'Keep on hearing, but do not understand;

keep on seeing, but do not perceive.’

10 Make the heart of this people dull,

and their ears heavy,

and blind their eyes;

lest they see with their eyes,

and hear with their ears,

and understand with their hearts,

and turn and be healed.'"

When I read this, the Lord gave me the image of what Isaiah's call would mean in regards to my own students at school.  It would literally be me standing up before twenty first graders and saying every day, "I'm going to keep teaching you how to read and you will never understand.  Show up, spend your time hearing about it, but never learn it.  Observe how to add and subtract, see the strategies I'm giving you, but never use them.”  And then actually doing it.  Going to school every day, teaching every day, knowing that there would never be any growth.  Not any "aha!" moments.  Never.

Then Isaiah had a big question:

"11 Then I said, 'How long, O Lord?'

And he said:

'Until cities lie waste

without inhabitant,

and houses without people,

and the land is a desolate waste,

12 and the Lord removes people far away,

and the forsaken places are many in the midst of the land.

13 And though a tenth remain in it,

it will be burned again,

like a terebinth or an oak,

whose stump remains

when it is felled.'

The holy seed is its stump."

Talk about a long and discouraging road ahead...  But, Isaiah knew that the Lord was worthy to be followed and trusted.  Despite the nature of his calling he walked obediently day by day listening for the Lord and acting. 

As I've been reading through a book, the Lord gave me another powerful image about school—illuminating what God may see when He looks at His children in regards to obedience.  Bear with me as I explain it before judging what exactly my thoughts have been about my kids... ;)

"Here's the funny thing about the Old Testament: 85 percent of it is God saying, 'I'm going to have to kill all of you if you don't quit this.'"- Matt Chandler

And bam.  I had this picture of school (lol) and how on the daily I think "I'm going to lose my mind if you don't quit this."  Seriously, all of you are driving me a little bit crazy when you are disobedient—when you don't follow the rules.  It really does blow my mind when they are given reminder after reminder my kids still choose to walk in disobedience when they clearly know this choice coupled with this choice leads to this consequence.

Then I had to ask myself how many times God has had this thought about me.  "Janie why don't you get it?  Can't you see all of the reminders and callings I've given?  Why do you keep walking in disobedience?  Don't you see that I have so much more for you if you would just step in line with me?  All I'm asking for is one step at a time.  I am faithful and true.  I am the mighty Shepherd and I will guide you always.  Just come follow me—see what I have for you!"

Crap.  I am the disobedient child.  The one that has been given reminder after reminder.  The one that is still wild and infuriating.  And the truth is when my kids in class act in disobedience, they really do miss out on the fun stuff—the good stuff—because they simply can't handle it.

What He has for us is so much greater than we could ever know if we would just dare to follow after Him.  I believe this with my whole heart, but I also believe that sometimes it's temporarily uncomfortable to be obedient to the calling on our lives—as was evident in Isaiah 6.

Sometimes the rewards aren't immediately seen.  Not in the way we would desire.  God says I have this thing for you—this place I want to take you.  If you would just walk in obedience.  That place may not look the exact way we want it to this side of heaven.  It may be hard.  But the truth is, there is no better place to be than smack dab in the will and direction of God.

Hebrews 11 says:

"13 These all died in faith, not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth.  14 For people who speak thus make it clear that they are seeking a homeland.  15 If they had been thinking of that land from which they had gone out, they would have had opportunity to return.  16 But as it is they desire a better country, that is a heavenly one.  Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city." 

I would much rather feel like an alien of this world seeking after the homeland God has for me, the city He has prepared, than to walk in my own earthly desires.  Obedience is a hard thing, but the Lord is so worthy to be followed and praised along the journey.

God is so good to teach His children and provide images to make us better understand His will.  I am thankful for these tricky lessons He is teaching me in this season.  My hope by writing these lessons down is always that someone may be encouraged by the truths He is illuminating to His body.  What has He been teaching you?  Let’s grow together!