I always think it’s funny to read the Old Testament and see how
easy it is to say how do they not get it. It just seems like
all the time God cycles the same or similar lessons to them and somehow they
always end up worshiping some other god. But then, when I take a good
hard look at my own life, I’m reminded of those common threads linking the Old
Testament Israelites to me—these are the common threads you really don’t want.
The links of our human sinfulness and forgetfulness throughout history.
It may look a little different now than it did for the Israelites in the
Old Testament, but boiled down to the core of any human problem is and always
has been sin. Praise the Lord that there is a day coming when every knee
will bow and tongue proclaim that Jesus is Lord, and there will be no more sin!
Just like for the people of the Old Testament, God has been
cycling a similar lesson to me recently. He’s been speaking a lot about
the heart. At school a couple weeks ago I had become pretty discouraged
with some of the choices my kids had made. I love my students and they are fun
and full of life—which is why my heart breaks a little every time they make a
choice to be hurtful, discouraging to their classmates, or destructive to our
classroom culture. Thank God that where there is earthly discouragement
He speaks eternal encouragement!
It was like an epiphany—you know those thoughts that just
slap you across the face—when God was speaking to me about my kid’s hearts.
I was writing to Him when I said:
“I find myself saying that we put in this work and we get them
(our students) where we want them, and then its summer and they forget a lot of
it. Which is true, only if it’s a head knowledge. But Lord, I want
to see you make a miraculous heart change. I want to see it become rooted
in their very being. They’re young, Lord, but it doesn’t matter.
You hold their hearts and you can change them. I pray that this
head knowledge that they have would become a heart knowledge. You are the
only one that can truly take them from the head to the heart. I don’t
just want to teach the head, I want to see the miracles of Your Spirit bringing
hearts to life. I want to see it this year with this group
of kids. You are the God of miracles and I pray that we would see you
moving this year at Lincoln.”
In that moment He reminded me that all I can do is teach them a
head level understanding of loving others, being good stewards, working hard,
etc. The miraculous part of rooting these truths in their souls has to be
left to Him, our Creator. He reminded me to teach and then pray big
prayers expecting Him to show up.
As I continued to meditate on this lesson God was teaching me I
realized that this was one of those moments that if someone was reading my
story—just like when I read about and judge the Israelites in the Old
Testament—they would say duh. Open your eyes! How do you not get it!? I say this
because God literally just blew my mind a couple of months ago about heart
healing instead of just bandaging our outward sin behavior. Hello.
As Ann Voskamp likes to call it my, “soul amnesia”, can be so strong.
Thank you, Lord, that you are faithful to cycle those similar lessons and
repeatedly put me in awe with your amazing and miraculous truths when my soul
forgets time and time again.
God had me in this place of praying big prayers and then I heard a
sermon on Exodus 19–the chapter before the Israelites were given the Ten
Commandments. The questions asked were these: what are you doing to get
ready for God to show up—do you have a back-up plan when it comes to the
presence of the Lord in your life? As I was writing to Him later that
week I had to confess:
“I want to be closer to your heartbeat, to your purpose, closer to
you. I want to be so in tune with your Spirit. I confess that I
don’t think I have been a person ready for you to show up. Preparing for
you. I want to be ready, I want to be a person who really does wait for
you, Lord. Forgive me for trying to struggle through on my own, for
asking but not preparing. Thank you that you are a forgiving God.
That you use a nobody and can do something amazing and miraculous.
I pray that you would breathe life into dry bones. That amazing
things would happen. You are moving and you are victorious!”
The next day I felt God asking me to teach my kids the parable of
the trees in Matthew 12:
“33 ‘Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the
tree bad and its fruit bad, for the tree is known by its fruit. 34 You
brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the
abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. 35 The good person out of his
good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure
brings forth evil. 36 I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give
account for every careless word they speak, 37 for by your words you will
be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.’”
So, the next day I started talking to my kids about how the fruit
of your life reveals the health of your heart. Isn’t it funny how even
the act of us preparing for God to show up requires Him to show up? He is
so faithful!
And He really is showing up.
The past couple of weeks have held more encouraging conversations with my
kids and displays of selflessness than I’ve seen the past few months. He
is answering big prayers. He is speaking and moving. He is changing
hearts. He is showing up!
Just like He always showed up for the Old Testament Israelites
through teaching, preparing, and performing miracles He is showing up now.
He is living and active!
I believe there are other people out there discouraged for the
lack of a heart knowledge in someone they care about. Remember, all you can do is share with them
and pray those big prayers! Prepare for
Him to show up and He will. He is the Relentless
Pursuer of our souls. He is mighty and
faithful to do it!
