"For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses,
insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak,
then I am strong."
It's never been hard for me to
confess to Christ that I'm weak. It's always been easy to say to such a
big Creator God that I fall short and that He is strong. So then why have
I recently walked through a season of caring whether people think I'm
weak? I know the truth. I know in
my heart that I am weak, but that in my weaknesses I am made
strong in Him. So why did I feel stuck in this pit?
And it was right in the middle
of this wrestle with my weakness and His strength that He was so kind and
faithful in bringing my heart back to life to the truth of His
word. He made His word vibrant in my heart again and
broke the chains I had allowed to creep around me.
It started at church by someone
talking about a scene from "Miracle"—which if you know me well, you
know I am slightly obsessed with this movie about the 1980 US Olympic hockey
team. Immediately God got my attention and I found myself pressing
in. The word was about perseverance "again, and again, and
again"—if you've seen the movie you know what scene I'm referring
to. And automatically I thought of the challenge of the circumstances I
had allowed to plague my thoughts and I knew it was a call to persevere through
the struggles, but how when I still felt so exhausted and
honestly chained. And then God spoke again through this scripture:
"On behalf of this man I
will boast, but on my own behalf I will not boast, except of my
weaknesses. Though if I should wish to boast, I would not be a fool, for
I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain from it, so that no one may
think more of me than he sees in me or hears from me. So to keep me from
becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a
thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of satan to harass me, to keep me
from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this,
that it should leave me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power
is made perfect in weakness.'
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power
of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corinthians 12:5-9
And in a moment I felt the
relief of unwelcome, dense weight lift from me. I felt free.
Because God spoke to me and said, "It's not that you just have the freedom
to boast about your weaknesses to me, but to them.
Being a good steward of my strength is not having it 'together' all the time—or
never falling short. It's simply to allow my strength to show up through
your weaknesses."
I thought about the men from
the Olympic hockey team and remembered what made it a miracle game was they
were a bunch of common men that beat a hockey "super power".
None of them would have felt strong in that moment of skating again, and again,
and again—but that's what made the strength of the game so awe
inspiring. It was their weaknesses that allowed the
victory to be a miracle. And God's strength and power to get me through
these challenges will only be witnessed as a miracle if others know that it's
through my extremely weak and common abilities. I don't have to be strong
all the time to show that my God is strong—He is able and will show His strength. Even if it's through His children's weaknesses.
I find it funny that in a
season that God had been teaching me it’s okay to be weak and boast in it to
others, that He was also bringing words to me through others of strength and
His power over me. In Ephesians 6 we are told:
"Finally, be strong in the
Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God,
that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do
not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the authorities, against the
cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil
in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that
you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand
firm."
And a more specific word about
the sword of the Spirit came, also found in Ephesians 6:
"And take up the helmet of
salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at
all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end
keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the
saints..."
God is so good and so kind and
so faithful. He gives us permission to be weak, because we are—but in
Him He makes us strong. He gave me the freedom to not feel the
pressure of having it "together" for the world all the time, but He
also has spoken over me again and again and again how much strength He is
working in and through me.
I think the main reason I'm
writing all of this down is because I forget. It's amazing
how kind God is in the way that He speaks to us personally and brings such
freedom in the moment—only to allow yourself to jump into the same
discouragement a couple days later.
God's been speaking to me about
Mary "treasuring all these things up in her heart", as He has in the past. I just believe that we need to store, and hoard,
and treasure these sweet moments that He gives us. We
need to remember. As we treasure we dig a deep well that we can draw
from whenever we face a challenge.
God is so good. Life can be crazy, but He is constant. He always shows up. And I want to treasure all of these sweet times with Him.
