A Year to Remember

One bottle of ibuprofen (tension headaches are no joke--apparently I am more expressive with my eyebrows than I realized), a dented wall, multiple dandelion bouquets, and countless kindergarten quotes/stories later I MADE IT THROUGH MY FIRST YEAR OF TEACHING.  I have been abundantly blessed this year and it is evident that the Lord has been weaving a testimony of His sovereignty throughout this year.

I remember going to my classroom for the first time, standing on a table (because I could), and dreaming about what this year might be like.  I remember praying that God's power would be evident in my classroom--that there would be a noticeable difference.  I remember trying to envision the best classroom set-up and decoration.  I remember the night before the first day of school hardly getting any sleep.

And even after all that dreaming, preparing, and envisioning there was simply no way to really know what was coming or what this year was going to look like.

It was very clear to me the first short week of school that I had a lot of littles with big needs.  They had big aches, big pains, big anxieties, and big hearts without the maturity and understanding of how to process through all of that.

This was an abnormally challenging class, and I want to say this only because God has moved in amazing and powerful ways.  His testimony is evident throughout this year in my classroom.  I saw my kids get supports that a lot of the time don't happen as early as kindergarten.  I saw families strengthen and come together.  I saw the true aching and breaking hearts of my kids and was able to hold them and whisper encouragement and truth into their ears.

I want to make it abundantly clear that on my own I would not have been able to withstand the challenges of this year.  Not gracefully.  Not joyously.  Most definitely not successfully.  God has revealed His Spirit of strength in a new way to me this year.  He is strong.  He allowed hurtful words, long days, and discouraging incidents to roll off my back.

All along, as I held my kinder babes He was holding me, whispering His encouragement and truth into my aching heart and out of my mouth.

He gave me a love and a passion for my kids, even on our toughest days.  I am weak but He is strong.  Was this year perfect?  Nope.  It wasn't.  I did my fair share of messing up.  But God's grace is always more.  He is at work even in the imperfect.

"Come and hear, all you who fear God, and I will tell what he has done for my soul.  I cried to him with my mouth, and high praise was on my tongue.  If I had cherished iniquity in my heart, the Lord would not have listened.  But truly God has listened; he has attended to the voice of my prayer. 

Blessed be God, because he has not rejected my prayer or removed his steadfast love from me!"  

Psalm 66:16-20

Come and hear what he has done for my soul!  Did God need me to fill a void in this classroom?  No.  Was I the best teacher for the job?  Probably not.  But God blessed me throughout this year.  He allowed me to work with these kids, in this circumstance, through these challenges and trials.  Because He called me to this classroom, I cried to Him and praised Him in a way that I, sadly, probably wouldn't have in a different circumstance.  He heard me and attended to my prayer.  I got to see and experience the blessings that came with the added struggles--the added battles of advocating for some kiddos in tough life situations.

He also revealed to me more fully what it means to be a child of God.  It is such a powerful image to be called a child of God and then actually observe children.  The battle waging in us is evident even in five and six year olds.  I could see extreme brokenness as well as strong childlike faith and innocence throughout this year.

God painted such a cool image in my mind through an interaction with one of my littles this school year.  She yelled out, “Silvers!” and took a great big flying leap and wrapped her whole body around me--completely off the ground and trusting me to support her weight. 

Psalm 63:5-8 tells us: “My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips, when I remember you upon my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night; for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.  My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.”

I want to yell out, "Jesus!" and for my soul to cling to the Lord just like this little babe clung to me.  Trusting Him to hold all of my weight, baggage, and burdens.  Knowing that I may not have all the answers of what’s to come but completely trusting Him to carry me exactly where I need to be.  And just like my kiddo told me I want to pledge to Jesus every single day, “I could stick to you all day!” 

To make a long story short: I am blessed.  God is good.  This has been a year to remember.